


The Road Stretches On Forever (But Not When I'm With You)

by Littlemistake, spacey_gracie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben keeps the Supremacy in his pants, Epistolary, F/M, Fluff and Smut, If the Supremacy's a rocking don't come a'knocking, Unfortunately there was more than one bed, huddled for warmth, travel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25356853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlemistake/pseuds/Littlemistake, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacey_gracie/pseuds/spacey_gracie
Summary: Rey and Ben are on separate, solitary road trips in the American Southwest, only to keep running into each other at the same viewing points along the Grand Canyon. Will their solo road trips become a joint venture?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 38
Kudos: 126
Collections: Summer Fic Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoeticEdda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoeticEdda/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy this silly story. Good luck trying to guess because I've never tried my hand at an Epistolary type story before.... or have I?

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Great West Adventure

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Hi guys,

Good-bye San Diego and hello Grand Canyon!

So, I’m almost two weeks in and have not been bitten by a rattlesnake (thank you Poe), kidnapped by a serial killer (thank you Rose, still have the mace handy) or fallen into a ravine never to be seen again (you are very welcome Finn). I am sure whichever one of you won the wager on how long I would last on this trip will let me know.

The electrics on BB8 are giving me trouble, which means my new alternator belt is a dud. Should have known better than to trust Unkar.

One thing you were right about, Finn, was there are a lot of wankers out here. This RV was right up my arse for at least fifty miles. I know I was driving a little slower than the speed limit because my lights were playing up, but where was the fucking fire? It was one of those petrol guzzling, eco destroying monstrosities, too - you know, that men buy to atone for a small dick? Big black thing. I suppose I should have felt intimidated, I mean it weighed at least ten times as much as BB8. I wouldn’t be caught dead driving one of those.

At first I didn’t understand why it was on a single lane highway in the first place. Usually a beast like that is welded to the double laned highways. By the end of it I was so mad that I flipped him the bird as I turned into my camp for the night. Unfortunately, he (I assume it was a he, due to the manspreading all over the road) stopped at the same camp spot. I was sure to squirrel myself away behind some of the other larger vans (thank goodness BB8 is small — - who knew that a Volkswagen camper could be so easy to hide). I also kept a sharp look out for a middle aged dude wearing socks with sandals, his pants hitched up too high and a comb over.

I would like to nominate the Hepburn Springs Camping Ground for the most revolting bathrooms in all America. If the scum from that shower went into battle with the scum from Poe’s shower, camp scum would leave no quarter unturned and take no prisoners.

So tomorrow I finally reach the Grand Canyon and from there will start spamming your inbox with photos and the like.

Love Rey

Xxoo

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* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 150  
**Itinerary:** Leg 1 of 1 - Tucson to Hepburn Springs Campground  
**Time of Departure:** 16:00  
**Time of Arrival:** 21:08  
**Distance:** 249 miles  
**Gas Mileage:** 13 MPG  
**GPS Coordinates: 34.9558702,-111.4920834**

Today’s gas mileage was the worst yet. The Supremacy was trapped behind a ‘68 Volkswagen Camper, from Happy Jack all the way to Hepburn Springs. Surely, that death trap on wheels and its equally febrile driver pose a threat to all others on the road. Lucky for the driver, the Mobile Eye Collision Avoidance system onboard the Supremacy prevented me from collecting it like a bug splat on my windshield. Why on earth the driver did not pull over to allow me to pass I cannot fathom. As I said, febrile.

Unfortunately, the vehicle is also lodged at the same campsite for the evening. After a very ill mannered gesture from the driver, I am determined to avoid that piece of junk and its owner at all costs. This should not prove difficult as long as I avoid areas where the wafting aroma of marijuana assaults my sense of smell.

No plans for photographic pursuit at this point in the journey. Tomorrow we venture to Desert View Watchtower where there is spectacular scenery.

* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 151  
**Itinerary:** Leg 1 of 3 - Hepburn Springs Campground to Desert View Point  
**Time of Departure:** 05:00  
**Time of Arrival:** 07:00  
**Distance:** 109 miles  
**Gas Mileage:** N/A  
**GPS Coordinates: 36.0440579,-111.8283121**

The Desert View Watchtower in the early morning light was breathtaking. I must confess my breath was very near sucked from my chest as I stepped out of the Supremacy. As a man of impressive stature I am not accustomed to feeling insignificant, but as the landscape unfolded before me, insignificant is the only word that even comes close to describing how it felt. The watchtower itself stands at the edge of a precipice, and looks across the lands of the Hopi, Navajo and Pueblo peoples. It breathes with history and when you stand at the top… it’s incredible that just going that little bit higher, the world opens up and you feel closer to the heavens than you do the earth. Thankfully, it was a clear fine day with minimal cloud cover, so ambient light conditions were ideal for panoramic shots.

You really can’t fathom the sheer vastness of this place without some point of reference. There were few tourists to choose from, but I spotted a girl with a nice smile so I asked her. From her accent she was English, most likely from London. I was curious why she was alone, but thought perhaps it was for reasons similar to mine. As we walked around the watchtower I shared some of the local history with her, but then it was time for breakfast.

When I returned to the Supremacy, the piece of junk from the previous day was parked right beside me. Given the plethora of empty car spaces all around it seemed that the driver wanted to make some kind of statement, which became clearer once I saw the note. I briefly considered leaving a response on the windshield outlining the finer points of road etiquette, but given I had a full itinerary and wanting to get ahead of the unwashed masses, I thought the better of it.

Fortunately I was able provide the note-leaver with a brochure with the key parts highlighted for easy reference. Assuming they can read.

It was surprisingly clean for a piece of junk.

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Great West Adventure

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

I went out to the Desert View Watchtower today - guys, it was AMAZING. Luckily there were only a few people there; it was very peaceful. It was almost as if the sky was open above me, you know--like, whatever weight was pressing down on me had been lifted. Is this what freedom feels like? All I could do was just breathe it all in. I don’t know if I could truly capture how spectacular the view was..

I felt like crying - is that normal?.

While my tailgating “friend” was nowhere to be seen in the morning at camp, surprise surprise, guess what monstrosity was in the lookout carpark? I almost felt like turning around, but decided that I was not going to let some arsehole interfere with my plans. I was a good deal braver than I had been the previous day. Perhaps it was because it was daytime and I had had a good night’s sleep? Anyway, I decided that I would park right next to the Monster Truck, to prove a point more than anything. I was a bit naughty though. I left a note wedged in the driver’s side door that asked how it felt to destroy the planet one mile at a time..

It was hard to tell who he was though, there were a few old fogies milling about but no one who really fit the bill..

Interestingly there was also some talent too. I was minding my own business, staring out across the valley, when I heard a throat clear behind me. As I turned around I saw this guy standing there with what looked like a very expensive camera. He asked if I would mind if he took my picture to “capture scale”. (Poe/Finn - was he hitting on me? I never can tell) Usually, this kind of thing would creep me out, but there was something in the way he asked, I just couldn’t say no. The look on his face, you could tell he was just as emotional as I was about what he was seeing. Plus, well, he was kind of cute in a man mountain kind of way. He was quite muscular too, if you like that kind of thing. Poe, you would think he was pretty hot (don’t get jealous Finn). I gave him my best smile but he seemed more interested in the landscape than me. .

I thought he needed to loosen up a bit, so he seemed rather put out when I did a star jump in his photo. For a cute guy he seemed to have a rather large stick wedged firmly up his arse. So after I gave him a “serious” photo, I gave up on bewitching him. We talked for a while, he knew a lot about the local history. It was really fascinating and we ended up walking around the watchtower together. I could have listened all day. Then he went all weird and abruptly said goodbye like I was a nuisance, so I went back to the view. .

He’s cute, but sort of an arse. Hope I don’t bump into him again.

Monster Truck was gone by the time I got back to BB8 but guess what…. THERE WAS A NOTE. Or, not so much a note but a brochure for the beast with the “eco credentials highlighted.” How was I supposed to know it came equipped with solar panels and grey water recycling? Surprisingly good gas mileage too (maybe even better than BB8). Get this though - it has a name “The Supremacy.” It has FOUR slide out compartments for the man who has more money than sense. I might sound a bit jealous, but really, BB8 has more character and personality in one wheel nut than the “Supremacy” has in its entire 750 man hours custom built chassis.

It has a motorised king sized bed. What the hell do you need a motorised king sized bed for?.

The alternator belt is worrying, but I’m still pressing on. I will stop in at the next roadhouse to see if I can get any intel on where to get a replacement.

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* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 151  
**Itinerary:** Leg 2 of 3 - Desert View Point to Hopi Point  
**Time of Departure:** 10:00  
**Time of Arrival:** 12:00  
**Distance:** 27.9 miles  
**Gas Mileage:** N/A  
**GPS Coordinates:** 36.0744404,-112.1571359

Hopi Point was just as breathtaking as Desert View, but in an entirely different way. This is still the same place on earth, created by one river. That one river carved out the landscape over millions of years. One simple river; I was rendered speechless. The morning sun revealed the myriad of desert hues --red, so much red--but the far away mountains are like ink against the backdrop of the turquoise sky, with ribbons of soft gold, ochre and green across the landscape.

It seems this morning’s subject turned out to be none other than the Volkswagen owner, who immediately launched into a tirade at me about tailgating. I returned volley with some disparaging remarks about her vehicle (admittedly I am not really proud of that) but after she called me an elitist I decided it was time to cut my losses. I did not want the altercation to affect my photographic pursuits.

Unfortunately, our itineraries are identical, because I had not arrived more than forty minutes at Hopi Point and there she was. Rather, I heard her vehicle screech its way (alternator belt no doubt) into the car park. Then we had a rather heated exchange upon which we realised that we were both staying at the same camping ground on Lake Mead that evening. She demanded that I change my itinerary but I would rather face an army of rabid rock squirrels than let a scruffy hippy tell me what to do. I also informed her that I had been travelling around the US for 18 months without company and I certainly wasn’t looking to change that arrangement.

Theoretically she could be considered attractive; her eyes are hazel flecked with gold and she has the most lovely sun kissed skin with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. But she has the personality of a Grand Canyon rock squirrel, cute and fluffy from a distance, but get too close and they will turn and attack. Wonder if she is friendlier for food?

I have decided I will not delete the photos of her just yet, so I will keep them archived for the time being. They will most certainly not become a part of my final photobook production.

I intend to arrive at Lake Mead ahead of the forecasted storm this evening.

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject Re: Re: Great West Adventure

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

FML. He’s here. I know I should really just move on, but dammit I don’t know if I will get the chance to see Hopi Point again. I will just avoid him, now that I know what he looks like it will be much easier. He can go fuck himself if he asks to take my picture again.

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* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 151  
**Itinerary:** Leg 3 of 3 - Hopi Point to Lake Mead  
**Time of Departure:** 15:00  
**Time of Arrival:** 19:30  
**Distance:** 259.6 miles  
**Gas Mileage:** 10 MPG  
**GPS Coordinates:** 36.2212873,-114.7478591 

Arrived at Lake Mead as planned. Better gas mileage today. No sign of the piece of junk or its owner. Poor weather should be settling in within the next few hours, and will retire to the Supremacy for the evening.

Late Entry: 21:00

Junk heap should have arrived by this time, and a fierce storm is closing in. As a fellow traveller, I feel a duty of care to all on the road, whether they have a pleasant personality or not. 

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Relax People

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

So my inbox blew up - guys really I am FINE. Seriously, if you were all so worried about me then you should have joined me like I asked. 

I know it’s been a day or so, but let me explain. On the way to Lake Mead the alternator belt finally bit the dust and left me stranded in the middle of nowhere. So I had no power, a dead phone and a long night ahead of me. I knew the next town was only a 90 minute walk away so I decided there was nothing to it but to make myself a campfire and wait until morning. I really didn’t want to take my chances on a deserted stretch of highway at night (yes Rose, because of the serial killers). 

I think I had been out for about two or three hours, and to tell the truth I was getting a little worried. I could see what looked like low storm clouds far off in the distance. BB8 and I hadn’t gone through a storm together and this one looked pretty bad - I could see the lightning from hundreds of miles away. 

So I had my campfire and my sausages for as long as the weather allowed, and was seriously regretting dismissing earlier offers of help, when you would not believe who pulled up. Mr. Grumpy Photographer (whose real name is Ben). He was concerned when I hadn’t arrived at the campsite after a few hours, so he thought he would check the route just in case something had happened. I thought I should be freaking out, but it felt like he was okay. It was so strange. He asked if I wanted him to stay with me till the morning, which in truth I did. 

He joined me at my campfire and it was all a bit awkward until he procured a bottle of wine (from his EdgeStar 18 Bottle Wine Chiller - page 10 of the brochure). I offered him a couple of my sausages, but he was worried I would go hungry so he shared his dinner with me as well. Gaucho Steak with Four-Herb Chimichurri with Chilli Lime Corn on the Cob. It was so good! Better than sausages; then again I don’t have a Two-Burner Induction Cook Top Recessed with Cover (also page 10). 

The next morning Ben offered to take me to get BB8 fixed. When I asked if BB8 would be too much for the Supremacy he laughed and said that he could tow ten BB8s if he wanted to. I will check in with you all when I get to Vegas. 

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Last night

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

Rose, 

There was a bit more than I let on in my previous email. 

The evening started well enough (dinner, wine, campfire, STEAK - he wasn't being an arse anymore either) until we got into a heated discussion as to the merits of rustic (BB8) versus prestige (the Supremacy) travel. He did begrudgingly admit BB8 had a certain charm (hello!), but that is nothing compared to the comfort of the Supremacy. 

I insisted on giving him the grand tour of BB8 (by the light of his torch), and he seemed mildly impressed with the pop top roof. It all went downhill after he asked where the bathroom was (did you know he has a bath in his ride? A spa bath - seriously), so I asked him where the helipad was, he asked me where I kept my stash of illicit substances and then asked him if he had a closet solely devoted to high waisted pants and socks with sandals. I dared him to clamber into the cab bed in BB8, I was sure he wouldn’t fit (because man mountain) but he was surprisingly agile.Then he went quiet and slunk back to the campfire. Every now and again I would catch him staring intently at me. It was as if the firelight was dancing in his eyes as he looked at me, but then just like that the moment would disappear and the shutters would come down. I kept having to remind myself that he was travelling alone by choice and not read anything more into it. 

I did spend the night in his bed - just not in the way you think. The storm finally settled in so we both went to our separate vehicles. (He did offer me a bed in the Supremacy but of course I declined, he seemed safe enough but that’s what they said about Bundy, right?) I eventually fell asleep only to wake up a couple of hours later absolutely soaked to the bone. BB8 had sprung a leak in the poptop and my mattress had flooded. The wind was still howling outside, I was freezing and I had never been more miserable in my life. 

I lay there like a soggy idiot for a few minutes debating what the hell I should do. My teeth were chattering so loud that I knew I had to get warm and fast or I was at risk of hypothermia (yes, I know, in the desert - but it gets cold overnight). So I stumbled to his coach and banged on the door. If I wasn’t feeling so miserable I would have spent more time ogling his band t-shirt and boxers combo but by this stage I was beginning to really shiver. He immediately dragged me inside and sat me down on his sofa, and tried to warm me up. Did you know that the floor was heated? It was so cozy in that cruise ship with wheels.

He kept muttering “your lips are blue” and somehow I got out of my wet Star Wars Pajamas (so classy) and into one of his t-shirts which hung more like a dress (he was a perfect gentleman). He wrapped me up in the softest wool blanket ever and made me drink about a litre of hot cocoa but I was still shivering. I wanted to cry, other than you guys no one had taken care of me like that before. I may have cried, or gotten kind of delirious, I don’t know. 

Rose, I was in a bad way. Then he said he was worried that I was getting very ill, and the best thing was for us to huddle together to exchange body heat. I don’t know how I got to his bed, but the last thing I remember was being wrapped up under a blanket with his warm body covering mine. I remember his face buried in my hair and him just rubbing my arms and body with his hand. 

This morning when I woke up I felt so much better - but there was another surprise. Turns out Ben doesn’t need the Supremacy to make up for a lacking pants department. In fact I think Supremacy is a good description. I didn’t know what to do, should I stay and sink into the moment, or do I leave and avoid making things more uncomfortable? So I got up and went back to BB8 to get breakfast and to check out the damage. 

The look he gave me when he got out of bed and saw I was still in his t-shirt was unreadable, but it wasn’t good. So we turned to our regularly scheduled programming.

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Last night

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

Rose, 

Yes, I know he was my knight in shining armour. 

No, I don’t know Rose, I didn’t have my tape measure handy. That’s not the key takeaway here. 

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 152  
**Itinerary:** N/A  
**Time of Departure:** Unknown  
**Time of Arrival:** Unknown  
**Distance:** Unknown  
**Gas Mileage:** Unknown  
**GPS Coordinates:** N/A 

Making an unscheduled detour. After taking Rey and BB8 to Las Vegas for repairs, I will make my way back to Lake Mead. I’m sure I will be able to make up for lost time. 

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Update

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Auto repair place told me it would take a week to get the part in for BB8 and to fix the leak in the roof. Finding a new mattress should be easy enough . Ben offered to take me back to Lake Mead and have me stay with him for a few days. I still want to explore the lake so I agreed. 

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* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 152  
**Itinerary:** N/A  
**Time of Departure:** Unknown  
**Time of Arrival:** 18:00br /> **Distance:** Unknown  
**Gas Mileage:** Unknown  
**GPS Coordinates:** 36.2212873,-114.7478591  


Late entry (will complete Captain’s Log tomorrow)

Rey drove the Supremacy. I was explaining to her the finer points of road etiquette and she remarked that it did not seem too complicated as the “bus” drove itself; unlike BB8 who requires a particular finesse. She then insisted that if she had the proper licence that she would show me. To which I replied that in this state the Supremacy could be driven on a regular one.

We sat in silence for a few moments, after which she asked if she could in what can only be described as a rather small voice. My only regret is that she evoked the “Driver chooses the music” rule after she took the wheel, and switched from Strauss to Daft Punk. Lured me in then pounced just like a rock squirrel.

For a rookie she was remarkably adept.

Arriving at Lake Mead, there was something otherworldly about the colour of the lake. It was the most brilliant blue I had ever seen - but it’s impossible to tell if it seems more vivid after seeing so much red for so long. The water was like glass, reflecting the streaks of the setting sun across the sky. The red earth glowed as if molten lava in the evening light, as if the sunbeams lit the dust aflame. That is the beauty of nature, that art is created in everyday moments.

I plan to shoot again in the early morning to capture the soft light of the morning sun as it washes over the mountains. I asked Rey if she wanted to join me, we rise before daybreak.

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Don’t tell anyone

To: [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

I drove the Supremacy! It was amazing but don’t tell Finn or Rose - they will never let me hear the end of it. It was like flying a spaceship! Also, question: how do you find out if a guy is interested in you? 

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Don’t tell anyone

To: [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

That suggestion was really unhelpful, not to mention dangerous. This thing weighs 58,000 pounds and surprising the driver like that could only lead to disaster. Plus, I could sustain a serious head injury from the steering wheel. 

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Update

To: [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com)

I said explore the lake, Finn

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Bloody hell

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

You know those moments where you think a man is going to kiss you, the world stops and there is nothing else? I think I had one of those moments. We were by the fire, and we were sitting close, our thighs were almost touching - I could feel the tiny hairs on my arms prickle with how close he was. My heart was pounding so loud the sound must have carried across the water. I turned to look up at him, and he was staring at my mouth, leaning in ever so slightly. I wanted him to kiss me so bad. Then just like that he stood up and went inside, leaving me staring into space like an idiot.

I’m torn. I want to make a move, sometimes I feel like he wants me to make a move. Then other times it's as if he doesn’t know what to do with me there. Like am I intruding. Am I imagining things, and if so which parts?

Of course I had the WORST night’s sleep ever, I was so tense and he was right there, just down the hall, but so far away. I kept going over the hazy memories of the night he saved me from hypothermia and how good it felt to be wrapped up in his arms. If I had understood the next morning that when I fled his bed that I would be kicking myself days later…..

We shared travel plans. After I collect BB8 I am due to head across to Yosemite. He is travelling to Salt Lake City. So I suppose we won’t be holidaying together for much longer.

I have to go, we are getting up early for some photography but you have to help me.

What should I do?

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Bloody hell

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

I swear to the Almighty that you and Poe either share the same brain or he has hacked your account.

You are just as unhelpful as he is.

I think I will just stick with upping my flirt game.

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* * *

**Captain’s Log:** Day 153  
**Itinerary:** N/A  
**Time of Departure:** N/A  
**Time of Arrival:** N/A  
**Distance:** N/A  
**Gas Mileage:** N/A  
**GPS Coordinates:** N/A 

Took some outstanding shots this morning, in fact I think over the last few days I have taken some of my best pictures ever. When I mentioned that to Rey she immediately took credit as my good luck charm. I agreed that while she was very charming, that really was because of the outstanding scenery.

She was silent for a while after, and several times I was sure she was going to say something but in the end nothing came of it. To break the tension I asked her how she came to be travelling through the US. I had assumed she was alone by preference, but as it turns out she very much wanted a companion but none of her friends were up for it. I asked why she wanted a travel buddy - surely it is easier to be able to tread your own path and not have to worry about the preferences of another person?

She gave the most surprising answer. She said that while her spirit was free and she longed for adventure, that she still needed a place to call home. For her though, her home was not within four walls. She found home in connections to others, by belonging to another person.

She also said that a journey shared creates stronger memories.

I’m still turning that one over in my mind.

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Why Rose Why

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

Rose, if a guy finds you charming but at the same time says you are in no way his inspiration - just what are you supposed to do with that?

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Why Rose Why

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

By the time you get over to the west coast to knock some sense into him he will be long gone. But thanks, you are a friend. 

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Havasupai Falls

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Ben hired a car for a couple of days. Today we went for a day trip to Havasupai Falls, the water was very blue. We had a nice time. Tomorrow we go to Vegas.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Havasupai Falls

To: [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Poe, I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not holding out on you about anything.

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Havasupai Falls

To: [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com)

Finn, I’m fine. There is nothing to worry about. I know you worry, but he is being a perfect gentleman in every respect.

Reply | Forward | Delete

* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Seriously

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

Rose, Ben is being a perfect gentleman in every respect - how the hell can I get him to stop? 

I packed my smallest two-piece, I made sure I had done my bikini line and my legs and I know I have a nice tan going on. We were there early (of course) so we had the falls to ourselves. It took forever to coax him into the pool, he was far more captivated by the blue of the water and taking pictures of it than he was with me.

Eventually he waded in (although the water was only 5 feet tall at its deepest point so really it barely came over his knees - have I told you he is really tall?). I thought the water might start to boil around me when I clapped eyes on him in his swimming trunks. He was very pale considering he had spent the last month or so out in the desert, but you know somehow I didn’t mind.

My eyes kept following the droplets on his chest and arms. With his wet hair he seemed more like a goofy boy than a man, especially when he smiled. His smile is so endearing Rose, like the surliness just melts away and the sweetest, most attractive man is revealed. I could tell he was sensitive about his ears, the way he kept moving his hair to cover them. When I told him that I liked them, he went from a ghostly white to red like the desert. There was definitely tension between us, like I could reach out and touch it. So I moved closer, I had the sense that if I kissed him that he wouldn’t run away.

FML though, a family coming to bathe interrupted me mid stealth and poof! The moment was gone. Each time I tell myself that I should just forget how much I like him, he does something else that reels me in all over again.

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From: bensolo@gmail.com

Subject: I miss you dad

To: [hansolo@gmail.com](mailto:hansolo@gmail.com)

Dad,

I know this email will permanently sit in my draft folder, but it doesn’t feel the same to talk to Mom. It also doesn’t feel appropriate to record what I want to say in my log book. But you are no longer bound to this earth, so this letter to my memory of you is the best thing I can think of. I wish that you were still here, that you could tell me what I should do with all of this.

I know when I set out 18 months ago to tour the US, I was determined to do this as a solo pursuit - just like our name. To follow your lead and not be tied down to one person or one place for too long.

For the entire journey I was sure I had made the right choice. It seemed as if the restlessness that plagued me had been arrested by the Supremacy, my camera and the open road. There were times that I was invited to break bread with fellow travellers (indeed there were two friends who I was quite sure intended to have me for dessert) but I always chose solitude and individual pursuits.

You might be wondering by now what my point is. Well, I met someone who has turned every single one of my plans upside down and now I find myself full of self doubt in indecision.

How can you have so much in common with a person who had such a different childhood? I know you can’t actually read this so it’s safe for me to say that last night by the fire when she was talking about being left in foster care, it was the same sense of abandonment I felt every time you or Mother fought or you went away. But especially when you sent me to stay with Uncle Luke. It was as if I didn’t exist for either of you.

When I voiced this, she couldn’t understand how I could feel like that when I had two parents that loved me. She was also adamant that her parents didn’t “abandon” her, and that they must have had a very good reason to leave. She was far more forgiving than I had ever been, and her parents were so much worse. Thinking like that makes people vulnerable and weak.

I had been fighting the urge to hold her since the morning after she slept in my bed. When I woke up and she was gone, I lay there for some time wondering if I had made some transgression. My only intention was to stop her from becoming very sick, but in the morning I felt like there was another purpose I might have to have her close. Then, the sight of her still in my t-shirt was nearly enough for me to forget all my plans and to scoop her up and take her back inside.

Today, I did my best not to let my eyes fall out of my head when she was in her bikini. My photography provided a distraction for a while, but really, she was very insistent that I swim as well. I was sure my pale skin and large ears would be enough to send most girls running, but she didn’t seem to mind. She smiled a lot, it's a captivating smile too, as if a thousand devilish thoughts were running through her mind at the same time.

But back to our moment at the camp fire. After we had bared our souls to each other, I finally gave in to the desire to hold her. In the end, we didn’t really resolve any of our campfire conversation, but as I held her she seemed to melt into my arms and I felt our souls connect. After a little while she suggested it was time to retire so I took her lead and we went to our separate beds.

So now I am sitting here with all of this and I just don’t know what to do. Or perhaps I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.

Ben

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From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Vegas

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Hi guys, Vegas was fun but exhausting. I’m picking up BB8 today, will get in touch after that.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Miserable AF

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

I’m so miserable Rose.

We had our Vegas day trip yesterday. I wore my yellow sundress, you know the one with the spaghetti straps that looks fantastic with my tan? I figured that even though there was no way that anything was going to happen on my last day with him I at least wanted to leave a lasting impression. It was definitely a winner, because Ben’s smile stretched from ear to ear. I could look at that smile forever. I felt a glimmer of hope but had to squash it back down again.

From the moment we stepped out of the car, Ben’s hand was at the small of my back. Remember how my dress has a triangular cut out? Well, Huston we had skin to skin contact. At first I thought it must be just to guide me through the crowd but then his thumb started to softly stroke me and I though I would pass out from excitement. At the same time I felt the need to pinch myself.

Ben took me up in the High Roller Observation Wheel at the Linq. For weeks all I have seen is desert and wilderness, but this view was a different kind of magical. The lights of the city at night stretch on forever until they hit the inky blackness of the mountains in the distance. I just stood there speechless as the wheel climbed higher and higher, almost as if I was floating. Ben still had his hand at my back, so I leaned against him and I felt his hand slip down to my hip. I started trembling and it was so hard to breath. All I could do was keep my eyes shut and focus on the warmth of his palm. He quietly asked if I was afraid of heights and I shook my head. A couple of heartbeats later he gave me a little squeeze and I swear I almost orgasmed there and then. It was electric.

His hand didn’t move as we left the wheel. I was sure I could feel a change in him, like whatever it was he was holding on to was gone. Ben then suggested we visit The Venetian. He snorted when I suggested a gondola ride, given that Mr. Fancy Pants had actually had a real gondolier ride in actual Venice. My response was “well whoop-de-doo” which seemed to give him a kick up the backside so he booked a couple’s ride for the two of us.

As we got in, the gondolier told Ben with a wink that it was customary to kiss under a bridge, to which he responded with a soft “oh that’s right.” By now I’m frozen in anticipation, and he threw his arm around me as if to warm me up. My heart was in my throat as we approached the first bridge. I was trying to casually wet my lips and I so much wanted to look at him but I just couldn’t. All the emotions were so overwhelming I couldn’t bear the thought that he could see into my soul if I met his eyes.

As we passed under the first bridge at first it seemed like nothing would happen. There was an overwhelming urge to take matters into my own hands, but I felt like he had to make the decision or I would always wonder. Suddenly he swore and then turned my chin with his fingers. My chest felt so tight, but when his lips touched mine everything just melted away. I can only describe it as heavenly; his mouth was soft and gentle at first but as we passed under each bridge (I lost count in the end), each kiss was deeper and more passionate. I’m sure our gondolier let out a “mamma mia” at some stage but to be honest, everything else was a blur. I remember how my legs were like jelly when I climbed out of the boat though. Ben’s arm was right there around me to hold me steady.

Then he asked if I wanted to get out of there, and without hesitation I said “yes”.

So, based on the above, you would think that he took me back to the Supremacy and made sweet love to me all night, right? Things went downhill in the car, and you could have cut the tension with a knife. I curse the day I agreed to spend the week with him.

Today we are going to pick up BB8 and then I guess that’s it. I’m waiting for him to come back from wherever he is. Funny, his camera equipment is still here.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Vegas

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Rose, show them the email. I’m not up to talking.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Vegas

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

You guys are the best. But I’m a big girl and can handle myself.

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* * *


	4. Chapter 4

From: bensolo@gmail.com

Subject: I really miss you dad

To: [hansolo@gmail.com](mailto:hansolo@gmail.com)

Dad,

I screwed up big time. So now I’m sitting here typing when the woman I adore is only a matter of feet away.

I didn’t think I would freeze up as I drove back to The Supremacy, with her hand clasped in mine. It felt so right, up until the moment I realised that everything was about to change. She sees everything in such clear, simple terms, whereas nothing is black and white for me. The closer to The Supremacy we got, the more the cold hand of fear wrapped around my chest. What would happen if I invited her deeper into my heart?

Reliance on people is a weakness; I felt like she should understand. Her parents abandoned her, her friends abandoned her. Self reliance is the key, and it made no sense to me that she didn’t feel the same.

So, I took one small step for me, and one giant misstep for my relationship with her. I asked her why she wasn’t angry with her parents, or with her friends. She bristled more than I have ever seen her bristle before (which is saying something) and she replied that being alone doesn’t protect me. Then she reluctantly agreed that her parents had abandoned her, but moments later there was fire in her eyes when she said it was better to reach for happiness than to be alone and miserable.

I felt as if I had been stabbed through the heart.

She told me I needed to make a choice, then went to her quarters and we haven’t spoken since. I haven’t slept and the early morning walk didn’t help clear this fear away. This longing deep in my heart, I have never known for anyone.

Dad, I wish you were here. Well, not actually “here” here; that would be awkward. The knife that was twisted into my heart last night still remains, and it seems like there is only one way to remove it. Am I trading my current hurt for a bigger one down the road?

One thing keeps coming through to me though, pulsing like a heart beat and getting louder by the minute. I don’t want her to go.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Oops

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Oh, looks like my inbox blew up again. Shit, sorry guys but I have been busy. 

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Re: Re: Oops

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

Yes, that kind of busy 

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Subject: Hot Dang

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

Holy shit Rose. I’m dead, literally dying. He is a god and I have no other words.

How did we get from there to here? After he got back from his walk he stalked back into his bedroom, didn’t even say good morning or anything. It was agony to sit there, so I decided that the best thing to do was to go for my own walk. Fuck sitting around and pining like some love sick school girl. So I threw on my boots and went to the door. Just as I was about to step outside suddenly the bedroom door flung open. He slammed the door shut in my face to stop me from leaving.

“I’m an idiot,” he said.

So I said “That is the only sensible thing you have said in the last twenty four hours.” Then I went to yank the door open and he shut it again.

Him: Just hear me out.

Me: Fine. Then I’m going for my walk. (I really did mean it I swear - FYI I never went on that walk, in fact it’s rather hard TO walk but more about that later.)

Him: I messed up. Fuck, I don’t want you to go.

Me: It’s just a walk

Him: No! I mean don’t want you to leave me. I want you to stay. I want to hitch your pile of junk to the back of the Supremacy and go wherever it is you want. I don’t care. I just want to be with you.

Me: Ben, you just went from zero to one thousand! I need to take a breath

Him: All of me or none. And the same goes for you. I want all of you Rey. Every single part.

By now I’m dizzy and he was standing so close, his arm was stretched out to hold the door shut and it was like he was surrounding me.

Me: How do I know you aren’t going to freak out with your whole “man as an island” crap again.

Him: You don’t. That’s the thing. I don’t know about you either. But I would rather know, than live wondering. Join me.

Rose, I just didn’t know what to say. It was everything that I wanted, but at the same time I still felt raw and vulnerable. I didn’t know if I could take the leap until he said one last word.

Please.

I melted. Literally melted. He had tears, and I could see he was sincere. He looked at me with these big sad pretty eyes and there was nothing else to do, but throw my arms around him and kiss him like my life depended on it.

Then, well, it was on like donkey kong. He got me up on the bench top and the cover from the Two-Burner Induction CookTop goes flying, but neither of us cared. His mouth, far out, when he wasn’t kissing me he was muttering the most filthy things as he was removing my clothes (It’s always the quiet ones, right). All I could do was sink into it, and there was no way I was being the only naked person in this van so I’m doing my damndest to get his gear off too. Then all of a sudden he stopped and looked at me and said. “I can’t take a picture of this, but I want it to be etched in my mind forever” and then everything slows the fuck down.

First he starts by kissing me very softly, and very slowly. His fingertips were caressing my throat and neck; seriously it felt as if I was drunk. Then, finally he moved down my body and his head was between my legs, and there is only one word to describe his skills.

Gifted.

There is nothing like the sight of a mountain of a man, down on his knees eating you out like his life depended on it. After he gave me the most mind blowing orgasm of my life, right there on that marble benchtop, he picked me up like I’m nothing and took me to his bed (is it our bed now? I suppose it is).

It was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. It changed me. It changed him (I know because he told me). The whole time we held each other so close, and TMI even after he finished we stayed connected until we could start all over again.

So, we still haven’t picked BB8 up yet, and the repair guy keeps calling so eventually I suppose we will need to get out of bed. But I wanted you to know that I am oh-so-ok. Never better, even though I’m dead.

I love you, Rose. Thank you for being my friend through all of this.

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* * *

From: ReyofSunshine@gmail.com

Re: Re: Hot Dang

To: [rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com)

I got the tape measure from BB8, but I’m not gonna tell you.

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* * *

From: ReyandBen@gmail.com

Subject: Check out our travel blog!

To: [l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com](mailto:l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com);[rose_rules@gmail.com](mailto:rose_rules@gmail.com); [FN-2187@hotmail.com](mailto:FN2987@hotmail.com); [PoeKnows@yahoo.com](mailto:PoeKnows@yahoo.com)

We decided to set up a travel blog! (Well, Ben didn’t want to, but I did, so we compromised and now we have a travel blog!) So now you can see all our amazing adventures and Ben’s beautiful photography. It’s a pity that we didn’t get to spend that long at Lake Tahoe but check out Ben’s blog entry anyway.

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* * *

From: ReyandBen@gmail.com

Re: Re: Check out our travel blog!

To: [l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com](mailto:l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com)

Yes, we were meant to stay at Tahoe for a week. Yes, “something happened”. We were let go with a warning, so no, I don’t need you “call in some favors”.

Thank you for your concern.

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* * *

From: ReyandBen@gmail.com

Re: Re: Re: Re: Check out our travel blog!

To: [l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com](mailto:l.organa-solo@resistanceservices.com)

Mom! We just met.

But one day, yes.

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* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this story Noeticedda. Sorry it took me so long to finish it!

**Author's Note:**

> My wonderful co-creator helped me with the code (and the beta), but these two reference guides [How to create an in mission report in A03](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111694/chapters/58044247) and [How to create and email template in A03](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953412) came in way handy so thank you to the two posters.


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